What was life like before you met Jesus?

I was homeschooled growing up. I read a lot of books and even read about God, and about Jesus. The knowledge I gained was intellectual; I had no relationship with Him. Instead, I used books, and the worlds within them, to escape from the rest of my childhood. My paternal parent was not a good man. I remember a lot of fear, and a lot of expectations growing up. How can someone be loved if they mess up, if they are different or if they don’t do as they are told? I went to church once in college; however, the message was about fathers and husbands, and I didn’t listen to any of it. I decided that I actually had nothing in common with those people, and that God the Father couldn’t be good. Why would anyone want a father in their lives?

How did you meet Jesus?

In graduate school, I had major depression issues. I was really struggling with school. One really bad night I was struggling with a lot of doubt when God told me that He loved me. He told me that He had plans for me. I wasn’t alone, and I never had been. I remember crying, and I remember feeling surrounded by His love. That was the night that I began to love Him as well. My major professor was very much a Christian, and he and his wife were really kind to me. They taught me to drive, and their home felt safe, warm, and inviting. Eventually, they invited me to church with their family. I went to experience the cultural aspects of the old church services that were mostly in Greek, and I found them to be really interesting. I went to a few more church services, I started praying, and I read the whole Bible in 3 months. I also started talking to my professor about what he believed. I still struggled to talk about what I believed and found Christian community difficult. I even tried to not talk to God, anymore, but that was really hard as well. I have never felt so empty, and afraid. Being without Him completely, I felt like I was falling, and I was fighting so hard, and I was so tired. I ended up at a small group one night and someone was reading from the Bible. It was then that I realized that I had never actually trusted God. I had not believed that He told the truth, or that He cared for me. That night, I finally did.

After being saved by Jesus, what is your life like now?

I can finally talk about the things that He has done. Since then life has not been completely easy, and I still have a lot to learn. However, I have learned so much about Him already. He loves me so much, and He wants me to spend time with Him. Not only has He died for me, He is always always there for me in this life. He doesn’t need me to make Him look important, but He does use me to help others see and find His love, the way my major professor, and people from the small group did. He wants me to follow His rules, but not for His sake, but for mine. He doesn’t mind questions, or weaknesses, because He uses them to strengthen my relationship with Him. He is the only real Father I have ever known, and I am so proud to be His daughter. I look forward to spending an eternity finding new ways to see His goodness. I pray that God will help me to show His love to others!