I was introduced to sports at a very young age. My brother and I started wrestling when we were probably 4 or 5 years old, and it became our life. We traveled all over the country, competed at one of the top clubs in the state, and had a lot of success. Although I had more success than most, I was always just a little bit below my brother. I struggled with not being as good as him, and that carried over into school as well. I went back and forth, trying to convince myself that I didn’t care, but deep down, it killed me. I thought that if I could just win a state title or two in high school, it would fulfill me. I got second place my junior year, so my senior year, I poured everything into wrestling, thinking I would prove to everyone I was good enough and as good as Brock. I fell short again in the finals, and I was heartbroken. Since I had thrown everything into wrestling, I had pushed away friends and wasn’t kind to people.

In college, my freshman year didn’t go well. Wrestling was tough, and I didn’t really have many friends. Once again, I thought that if I could be good at wrestling, have a bunch of friends, and be popular, I would be satisfied. I remember one evening, I was in the car with Brock, and he asked me, “What are your goals in life, and what do you think would make you happy?” I replied, “I don’t know, but I’d like to have a big house with some land, a nice car, maybe a family, and some cool friends.” Again, I was putting all my hope into worldly things.

In my sophomore year, I had a lot of success in wrestling and started making more friends at Coe. I made it to the national finals, but once again, I fell short. I was devastated because I had never won the big match—I always fell short. Right after I lost, I was in the locker room, bawling, when my brother Brock came in and sat with me. He didn’t have much to say, but he was just there with me. Then, right before he left, he looked at me and said, “Hey, Jesus loves you.” Although I wasn’t saved yet, I instantly felt a sense of relief and peace.

My brother was a big influence on my journey to Christ. He invited me to Redeemer a few times and then to Salt Company at Veritas. I started going to Veritas on Sundays as well. I began feeling changes in my heart and my life. I started to enjoy waking up and going to church, stopped relying on wrestling as much, started praying (something I had never done before), and began feeling guilty for my sins. I realized that wrestling was still draining the life out of me. I would come home depressed, sit in my room in the dark, and cry about it. I felt like I had to continue for my dad, my coaches, my teammates, and my community. But at a certain point, I realized it was pulling me away from Jesus, so I decided to step away from wrestling for a while.

After that, I still struggled with sin, but I really began to feel the weight of it. The gospel became beautiful to me when I understood that Jesus paid it all—it is finished. At times, it’s still hard to comprehend that He died for me (in the sense of “why me?”), but that’s what’s so beautiful about it. He knows my heart, yet He still died for me and loves me unconditionally. That is just so, so beautiful.

I now have a lot more peace when going through trials. My heart hurts for those who are not saved, and I want to share the gospel with everyone. Although I still struggle with having the courage to do so, I pray and ask God to help me and give me the courage to share. When I am struggling, upset, confused, or sad, I turn to Jesus in prayer and ask others to pray for me and for my heart. I get excited to come to church on Sundays and try to invite people all the time. God is so good, and I am so grateful. I have a sense of peace and am excited, knowing that because He saved me, I will one day meet Him and spend eternity with Him in heaven.