What was life like before you met Jesus?
I went to a Lutheran church with my grandparents when I was little. My family was raised Lutheran and a family of faith. When my grandfather passed away, I became very angry. I stopped going to church and felt God had abandoned me when I needed him the most. My childhood was not a normal childhood life like the rest of my friends, and I had abandonment issues as a result of my childhood circumstances with no way of understanding how to navigate it. As I grew older, I tried to self-medicate with alcohol and fill my void with people who didn’t have the best intentions at heart. I made these horrible choices, and nothing got better. I lacked self-discipline, love for myself, and felt lost. I felt like I hit the bottom of a hole that was never getting better or I could get out of.
How did you meet Jesus?
I have no idea how to describe when I found Jesus. It was surreal and fulfilling. I would like to say he met me where I was. I had some dear friends that I met along the way who are fully faithful to him. I was stubborn and was not ready to open my heart to him. I started studying theology and digging into the Bible. Looking for answers of WHOM I belonged to. The more I read and searched the more my heart became closer to him. I actually could not stop searching and reaching for him. I realized all my hardships were by my choice. I realized God works in mysterious ways to draw us closer to him. I realized he was equipping me to strengthen my faith. I opened my Bible to Luke 1:37, “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” and as I write this, I tear up. Without Him, I wouldn’t be where I am. I wouldn’t be where I was without Jesus. I am covered in filth, but because of him and always meeting me with open arms, waiting for me to come home, I am fully and 100% undeniable right where I am supposed to be. The amount of love that exudes for a sinner like me. He did that for me. I am nowhere near perfect, but finally, in my life, I feel so whole and loved. I feel complete. How beautiful is his love, grace, and mercy? Jesus is truly my Savior, and the price he paid for someone like me. How could you not come to him? I just took a little more time. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:8-10)
After being saved by Jesus, what is your life like now?
Christ saved me. I no longer have self-loathing, shame, and guilt. I feel whole. I no longer walk in fear and fully walk in faith, not by sight, in this very hard world. Earthly matters no longer fulfill me, and they never have since finding him. I am able to find joy through him and teaching my children about our Savior. I tried to lead a life fully through him. He’s given me courage, strength, and my voice back. When your heart is fully in, you no longer question who you belong to. You feel it in your soul. Every day I strive to make it to my kingdom, and how glorious will it be to meet my king in heaven? “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.” (John 18:36)